Too poor

So I just received an interesting letter in the mail. It was a letter from Chase Visa informing me that I was NOT eligible to receive the Chase Platinum Visa... The reason, “current obligations too high relative to income”. To make matters worse, I have never been either a Chase, or Visa customer. So to sum it up, out of the blue, I received a letter from two financial institutions I have never had any previous relationship with, informing me that, just in case I was wondering, I’m too poor to be a customer of either. They could have at least put in like a Hallmark card with a picture of a baby on the front, or like a little kitten or something. Maybe a couple walking along the beach, holding hands, with the caption ‘just in case you were wondering…’, then on the inside it’s a picture of a creepy looking clown that says, ‘you’re broke as a joke!’. The whole thing sort of makes me want to be a customer though. I'm just saying, their customer service department is on top of it. They really went above and beyond to inform me that I’m not good enough for them, and just knowing I can’t be makes me want it even more. I mean, what am I missing? Maybe Chase Visa is some sort of secret institution that only the most influential World leaders get invited to be a part of, like the Masons, or the Skulls. Maybe we’d all meet in a basement somewhere, in huge purple robes of course. Then we'd stand around a huge urn of incense and talk about our recent purchases. In our own top secret language I could tell the most influential people on the planet about the sweet sweater vest I saw at the GAP and how (since I’m a member) I got 45 sky mile points when I put it on my secret member's only superduper Platinum card. Then we’d all chant something really creepy, maybe kill a goat, and slip off into the darkness to spend away, muhahahaa! (evil laugh).